Looking for a London 2 day itinerary, are you? You're in luck: we've got the perfect whistle-stop tour of the Big Smoke. It might not be the longest holiday you’ve ever had (we hope) but it’s enough time to experience the capital’s sights. We’ll start you off slow with a gentle introduction to the city... as if. There is nothing slow or gentle about this place, so strap on your comfiest shoes and get ready to pound the streets to see the best that London has to offer. The capital of England has a veritable treasure trove of glorious, luxury Plum Guide homes to call your own.

Without further ado, it's time to get stuck into Plum Guide's London 2 day itinerary.

Your first day is all about those tourist hotspots. Buckle up my friend, you’re in for a ride. Kick-off the day at Westminster Abbey for a holy start and imagine you are Kate Middleton walking down the aisle. From there it’s a short walk to the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben for selfies and angry commuters who don’t understand why you are there. Three things scooped right out of your bucket list straight away, good work.

A hop over the river and you’ll find the London Eye. Go on, just go for a ride - it is quite good to see such a sprawling metropolis made miniature from a great height. The scenes are only rivalled by some of our homes in London: Peter The Grand offers fantastic views over the Houses of Parliament and Westminster.

Now you’ve probably worked up a bit of an appetite so we’re thinking it's time for lunch. Let’s go to Borough Market, my hungry little friend. The walk along South Bank is pretty but if you wore the wrong shoes (idiot, we told you) grab the tube to London Bridge. The cuisines of the world are represented here so eat your way around the street food stalls. Once you’ve had your fill, look up and see The Shard: tick - let’s move on. Don’t need to spend money on a view we’ve already seen this morning on the London Eye.

From here, its a short walk to Tower Bridge for that perfect photo and then on to stroke the Crown Jewels at the Tower of London. Tired and grumpy yet? Don’t worry, it’s now time for dinner and drinks at Sky Garden before resting your weary feet a cosy apartment nearby. Might we suggest Autumn Sky?

Hope you didn’t have too many cocktails last night. Today is all about seeing the ‘real London’ and dabbling in some culture.

Come on, let’s get straight up and breakfast at Daylesford Organic Farmshop to make everything better. After you’ve polished off the eggs and coffee, wander around Notting Hill and accept the challenge of not mentioning a certain movie the whole time you are there. Instead, talk about Victorian architecture, pretty streets and expensive houses.

Onwards to Portobello Market to buy something you’ll regret from one of the indies and admire the (slightly) slower pace of life compared to Tower Bridge yesterday. This could be where real Londoners live! Can you see one? Maybe grab a little elevenses from one of the cute cafes.

Continuing our chilled start let’s grab a slice of nature, shall we? Ride the infamous tube and try not to <s>cry</s> people watch with your nostrils clamped shut. Hop off at Hyde Park station and make your way to the area's namesake park. Hyde Park is the centre’s biggest green space, where locals frolic on the grass whatever the weather. Spend a little time walking among the trees before hitting the concrete and pollution again.

It’s off to South Kensington darling. You’ll pass the majestic Royal Albert Hall as you approach your biggest decision of the day: which cultural institution are you going to grace with your presence? There's the Natural History Museum (history stuff), Science Museum (science stuff) or the Victoria and Albert Museum (art and design stuff). It’s up to you where you go, just don’t attempt all three. That would be the same as taking all of your money out of the bank and throwing it into the air. Even if the majority of the exhibitions are free. Of course, if you have five days in London, you'd be able to visit them all – just.

Once you’ve seen history, art, science (delete as appropriate) skip across to Harrods before winding through Green Park and landing outside the humble abode of the British Royal family. If you’ve timed it right, you’ll see the changing of the Royal Guards and the foolish things people do to make them smile.

Woah. That’s a hell of a London 2 day itinerary. Are you okay? We’re not sure if we are. It is a lot to pack into two days, it might be better if you’re in London for four days or even have a long weekend to spend in London, but hey, we work with what we have. Hope you have a blinder with this London 2 day itinerary, send us a postcard.

Looking for somewhere to stay in London? Our selection of rental homes are vetted by our fastidious home critics, so whether you're after a peaceful Bayswater retreat or some artsy Notting Hill digs, you're in for a great night's sleep in a Plum Guide home.